| I wish I could remember what color your eyes were |
[entries|friends|calendar] |
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[30 Nov 2004|05:33pm] |
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dontchyas just love how long it takes me to update this stupid thing? sometimes i feel like deleting it i just dont have the heart to. lol. neways.... i dont really kno whats gone on since my last entry. on friday i might be sleeping at western in katie and britts dorm (and my sisters too kinda) with nate if she can come with me and on saturday going to NYC with andrea and all her friends. it sounds fun but who knows if it'll acctually happen. as of right now i am trying to figure out what to get tay tay for her birthday. i kno what i'm getting nate for christmas so thank god thats settled and tay i'm still workin on but i guess i'll just have to look. i guess not much has been goin on lately. i've mostly been hanging out with nate and stuff. today i went over nates lol and got a ride there from brendan who got mad at amanda cuz she always asks him for rides haha. but he said he didnt mind giving me one cuz i never ask so i felt the littlest bit special. then when me and amanda were walking to nates house alyssa stormed outta the house, her mom was screaming very loudly and alyssas binder was practically in the middle of the street then we found out that whitney punched her in the face and threw her books in the road lmao it was funyn as hell tho. anyways.... lol..... the other night at oddfellows carlos told me (well told nate and nate told me) that i looked like a dutch porn star and he was gonna call me yoga. i found it very interesting. amanda told me today that delphine is the other godmother of mike and alicia's baby. i love delphine. omg!!! i got to see haley austin and dakota a few weeks ago!!!! i was soo excited and the kids are really good now! haley's 5 i was so suprised. dakota got so effin cute too! i get to see them again tomorrow cuz amandas babysitting them. jodi seems like shes doing okay which is good, i feel so bad. the kids also seem like they behave better now that wayne is gone. meg wants me to come visit her up in college sometime soon. i hope i do. nate asked me and tay to go to nyc with her marissa whitney and kayleigh when they go over christmas break so hopefully we still are. that will be a LOT of fun. i think i might be getting drunk with josh tom and toms sister some day soon. hehe. yesterday i was driving in the car with my mom and the song with you by jessica simpson came on the radio. omg all the memories went thru my mind. it even made me think of the good days when mike and amanda went out. i think christmas time last year was when we had all our memories. oh boy i remember when we first met alex and me amanda mike alex and i think momma sat on the swing on amandas back porch till liek 3 in the morning freezing our asses off. that was great. yea i gotta stop talkin about all this stuff i'm gonna cry lol. well i dont really know what else to write so i'll try to again soon if i feel like it. bye bye kiddies.
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| rhymes be the proof when i'm drinkin' ninety proof vodka |
[02 Nov 2004|06:32pm] |
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wow i have a shitload of catching up to do. i dont even kno where to start lol. well..... i havent hung out with amanda tay christina momma and casey in about a month. i hang out with nicole joe and tay a lot lately. we all got into a huge fight for the whole past month but now everyones ok with eachother and the whole group is back together except me and casey who arent friends anymore but i think thats slowly starting to change which is really good. i havent seen ed and paul in forever. not since they got into their car accident. i miss them but amanda said they're both kinda assholes now which sucks but i miss going out with them every night. i broke up with josh like last week and then for that weekend me and nick were talking and i realized some shit about josh and i wanted him back lol so now were back together but nick hates me and told me he hopes i die. but whatever. what else is new. the other day when me, nate, joe, shealah, amanda, tay, christina and momma went to talk shit out at franklin we all came to the conclusion that we fell apart once amanda moved. it makes us all really sad to think about our past at that house and all the memories. the one thing that stood out the most was making pasta. we lived on pasta and joe was always the one making it cuz him paul and all the guys were stoned and hungry. we all decided that if we wanted shit to stay together we needed to hang out all of us not just in groups cuz that starts fights so we're supposed to all chill at joes all the time until amanda moves again. when amanda moves again they're gonna live in a one family house and mike and alicia will move in too and they'll have the baby! alicia still hasnt figured out who the second god mother is gonna be. i think joe shud be the godfather cuz he can be trusted with a kid but amanda said she doesnt think alicia likes him all that much so shes gonna talk to her about momma being the other godmother. speaking of kids i miss haley austin and dakota those little shits lol. last night was an interesting night. it seems hardly anything happened but a lotta shit went on. at liek 830 i went to the cafe to meet tay nate joe and nates cousin tj. we were bored so we walked to the movies and we hung outside there for about an hour then tays dad gave us a ride back to nates house. from there jeff casey amanda momma and christina picked me up after going on a 5 hour road trip to new york lmao. they got kinda lost. they never made it to the city but they said it was soo much fun and amanda momma and christina lost pididdle very badly and they were pretty much naked. lmao. anyways. they picked me and and we went back to caseys for cake for her birthday, which i was very suprised when casey called and asked me to come, but i was happy that she did. after casey's jeff dropped us off at amandas and christina and momma went to high park to see if they could find people but they didnt and ended up walking to cvs to meet some kid chris. i fell asleep on amandas floor and she ended up waking me up and was like come on coem outside with me. i was like WTF! but brendan was out there and she didnt wanan go out alone so i went and we ended up leaving with him, picked up momma and christina and went to fairfield at like 130 in the morning to brendans cousins house. then i got hit in the head with a whiffle ball that momma called "a flaming piece of life" lmfao momma. then she told me not to piss my pants cuz she was laying in my crotch lol. hmm what else. i got to see brendans balls... it was interesting lmao. he also raped amanda. all in a sudden he ripped his clothes off and started humping her it was pretty damn funny. that was pretty much it for last night and today i chilled at amandas and watched lifetime all day. on halloween i got no candy lol but somehow i managed to walk soooo much. i'm always walking back and forth from nates or amandas to reality to center to the movies back to someones house, to the park, the store. everywhere lol but its always fun cuz everyones always with us. a huge group of us stood outside of a haunted house that was in the newspaper the other day on nate's street and everyone kept trying to drag me nate and christina in but we liek kickednad screamed. i dont kno why i didnt go in cuz i went in the haunted graveyard at lake compounce and dollhouse in playland but i guess its cuz the guy with the chainsaw scared the shit outta me. momma was grinding with michael myers and he kept liek following her lmao then she realized he had a girlfriend and she was prolly gonna die haha. wow i wrote a LOT and theres prolly a lot more i can say but i dont remember. i'll update again soon and i'll make sure its not over a month from now. later.
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| My love, these holes in my hands are for you, just for you |
[11 Oct 2004|08:28pm] |
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wow i REALLY havent updated in a while. i guess i've just been too lazy to. hmm a lot has been going on lately i guess. last sunday i went to six flags with amanda tay momma ed paul jesse and like 5 other people. it was LOTS of fun... momma didnt flash the camera tho. we went on superman like 3 times i think and a couple of us have keychains with a picture of all of us on it from superman. lmao i always laugh when i see that picture its too funny. i found out this morning that ed and paul got into a really bad accident tho :( i hope they're alright. paul managed to call gabby tho and tell her what happened. as far as i know he just fucked up his shoulder pretty bad. last night i slept at nate's house. i was supposed to sleep at amandas but rachel and amy were over amandas and they all didnt come to reality and center with me nate chewy and darwin soo i told them i wud call them when i got back and then at like 11 amanda called me and asked if i could just sleep at nates house cuz rachel and amy had to sleep over and her dad wuda been pissed if i did too. but nate's mom said yes so i stayed there and i slept with mr. louie who takes up the whole entire bed. haha. but hes a cutie so its ok. today i went to center and chilled with nate tay joe nick and freddie and we played strip basketball, guys agaisnt girls. every time the guys got a basket, 1 girl wud have to take an article of clothing off and same for the guys if the girls score. no one ever ended up taking any clothes off hardly cept joe. lmao tay made a basket in and before that he said if anyone makes a basket he wud strip down and run and do a cartwheel so he had to cuz tay made a basket. it was pretty damn funny. on friday me and tay are prolly sleepin at nate's house after the game and yea that shud be fun. i'm tired now so i'm going to sleep..with my comfty pillow hehe. later.
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| A little voice Inside my head said, "Don't look back. You can never look back." |
[23 Sep 2004|04:23pm] |
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wow i havent updated in a really long time. hm yea a lot has been goin on lately i guess. like a week or 2 ago we got into a car accident when i went out with amanda tay christina momma ed and paul. paul crashed into ed. ed was real upset and stuff. anyways...last weekend me amanda christina momma tay and annie went to the pool hall and got raped by like 45 year old men lmao. acctually they were like 18-20 but yea still, willie's old and all he does is ask for kisses. then some weird guy was really drunk and we were jsut trying to dance minding our our business and he was like climbing on top of us trying to kiss us...it was badddd and he wudnt get off of momma so i grabbed him, threw him on the chair and i was like FUCKING CHILL OUT GET THE FUCK OFF OF HER!!! it got him off of her but he tried to kiss me neway lol. but all the guys there were just kidding with us and stuff so the drunk guy was gettin a little carried away and they were gettin pissed and yellin at him so it was all good. mark gave us free smirnoffs or however you spell it and it was real good. um yea yesterday and monday i went over josh's house and tomorrow is the first show at oddfellas...fellows whatever the fuck it is no one acctually knows lol. but yea i'm kinda excited cuz its something different to do besides go out with ed and paul...i love going out with them its soo fun! but its def. something to do to pass the time before we go out with them. on tuesday i think it was i was just chillen in my room listening to music and doing my homework and i look outsdie and lindsay was walking by, it turns out she got into a fight with mike AND her dad so she was walking all the way to mikes house....so she called amanda to meet her on broadbridge and i walked her to the end of my street then i ended up walking further with her and i met amanda and joe with her. they were comming from alex's house and they all needed cigarettes really bad so we walked to success to get them... might i add that this whole time i was barefoot. i even walked thru the path in the woods on top of glass to get there. it was some harsh shit but i was a trooper lol. when we got to success alex mike and robbie were there and paul picked us up and brought me home. who knows what amanda joe and paul did after that. mike picked lindsay up on success. ehh i dont know what to write. me and nick are cool again which is good cuz i hate being in fights with people its just useless arguments over dumb shit just talking shit to eachother....pointless. and i hate drama too. oh god i said it i hate that word lol. people over-used it way too much over the summer. anyways...everythings going pretty good with me and josh, we get into a fight almsot every night but they're stupid anyway haha i've prolly never been so bored in my life than right now but cheryl shud be home soon and we're supposed to hang out tonight. i wanna die my hair lighter blonde again...its nver light enough!!! k i gotta stop talking. later. by the way does anyone like my new journal? i think mentioned this my last entry. oh well.
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| I'll never forget looking in your eyes |
[12 Sep 2004|12:12am] |
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last night i slept at amandas. a lotta interesting stuff happened. me amanda tay momma christina alyssa nicole and joe were walking back from burger king and we start talking to our "porch monkey" friends lmao. it turned out to be eric ardito nikko and anthony something. i dont even care. so they came to amandas and i stayed at nicoles for a while. then after we walked back from high park to give whitney something i went back to amandas and they were still there they were being sooo loud so me and casey were bitching them out sooo bad. it was kinda funny tho. then we kicked them out at like 12 and went out with ed and paul. i slept the whole time in the car.
then today me amanda and christina went over nicoles house and hung out with nicole joe momma tay alyssa whitney and marissa. me and marissa are cool now shes sooo nice! we found out that while eric nikko anthony and that other kid were over they stole all of amandas dvds and they keep denying that they have them even tho we kno they do. thats real fucked up that they did that.
after we left nicoles me amanda tay and momma went out with paul and drove around. he drove us to this scary street he always brings us to and he was trying to pull me outta the car! i wuda gone out but i kno paul he'd drive away and i'd be in the middle of the road with woods surrounding me and no streetlights. i wuda cried. so i was trying to jump into the way back of the van but paul was pulling me by my belt and i couldnt move. then he wanted to pull amanda out and he let go of me so i jumped into the way back and then he tried getting me again but this time he was pulling me from the way back of the van out the door. if he didnt let go of me when he did i prolly woulda pissed my pants. it was real funny we were all like dying laughing the whole time and we were like screaming. neways now i'm home and me and josh just got into our nightly argument this one was cuz he likes to bring up things that i dont like to talk about cuz it embarasses me, even tho its just him but still it makes me feel dumb. so i told him we shud just hang up cuz we'll either sit there in complete silence for the rest of the time or argue about something else, and we were arguing in the process cuz i was annoying him cuz i knew he was pissed but he said he wasnt so i was like whatever and we hung up. i kinda feel bad now cuz i hate hanging up with someone with either myself or them being pissed off or sad or something, it just doesnt end right so its weird. but whatever nothing i can do about it now. our whole relationship is arguing. cute isnt it? it pisses the fuck outta me but i guess when people love eachother they fight about stupid shit a lot. but we only fight cuz we do the shit we knew that pisses eachother off. yea but i really talked way too much and i'm SO tired right now so i'm gonna go to bed. goodnight kids.
oh yea and thank you christina for making this pretty! i lovee it!!
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| You're something so sweet and tender |
[07 Sep 2004|10:58pm] |
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today was a really nerve racking day. i went to school like usual and after school ed picked me amanda and casey up. we went to burger king to get something to drink and amanda starts putting her hair in a ponytail and ed takes a sharp turn, then the cup tipped over and went allll over the car interior and all over amandas white shoes. it was doctor pepper too! i couldnt help but laugh tho cuz ed had the funniest look on his face. the soda even splashed onto the outside of the car hahaaha. neways, then we took a little trip to PPCT. it was real scary they ask you a lotta questions and stuff that you have to fill out. i gave them amandas number so they dont call my house even tho they know not to say who it is, but just in case, cuz they can talk to amandas dad cuz hes my "uncle". then some dikey lady called me in handed me a package thingy with 2 pills inside told me side effects and all there is to know about them and told me to take them and i left. i was really relieved after i took them even tho i dont kno for sure if they will work but i'm hoping for the best. i would just like to say I HEART ED YOUNG FOR SAVING MY LIFE....and killing another lmao. after that we drove around trying to find paul and then went to mcdonalds where he met us. pauls so funny he was talking about having sex with old ladies (esspecially casey's grandma) and me amanda casey and ed were like dying laughing. that cheered me up a lot.then we left and ed brought casey home and then dropped me and amanda off and i hung out at amandas till now. amanda found out the other day that alicia is pregnant and now shes gonna be an aunt! i'm so excited! november 20th tbs and atreyu with tay momma and kerrie! cant wait! i'm waiting for josh to call me and i have to finish up on my design homework so i'm done with my entry for today. later kids.
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| uh oh |
[06 Sep 2004|11:53am] |
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um yea i think i just made josh really mad at now i dont think we're hanging out. this sucks real bad. fuckkkk why did i do that. anyways i had a busy weekend. on friday i went to sterling hosue for a little while then me amanda tay momma christina and casey walked to amandas cuz people were bein gay. then at like 930 we walked casey home and hung out there for a little while. on saturday me amanda tay christina and momma went to the skate park for a little while cuz steve wanted us to come then we left and went to joes and hung out there till like 10 with nicole paul alex mike joes cousin billy and i dont even know who else. yesterday we went to six flags. it was soo much fun. momma flashed the camera 2 times going down superman lmao it was soo funny! today i'm goin over josh's to hang out and yea i think thats it. unfortunatley i have school tomorrow. i still gotta cover my spanish book b4 my teacher flips a shit and i gotta start workin on my english project. i'll write again when something interesting happens.
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| todays my birthday! |
[02 Sep 2004|10:37pm] |
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todays my birthday and i wanna thank everyone that made it so great! me amanda tay momma christina josh tom and pj hung out all day today after school. we had some fun i guess. we definatley killed the ice cream cake tho haha. look at my fotki to see the pictures of it. um yea wow i havent written in a long time. me and josh go back out now and i'm very happy. he got me a buncha stuff even tho i'm mad at him now cuz he spent all the money he was gonna use for his tatoo on me. but now i'm gonna get him some good stuff for his birthday, even tho i dont know what to get him yet. i kno this is short but i am soo tired i can hardly stay awake. yay tomorrows applebees and starbucks and then on saturday i guess i'll go to the beach to see everyone. goodnight kiddies.
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| i'm not quite sure i care anymore... |
[28 Aug 2004|01:47pm] |
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i really havent updated in a long time. i still need christina to fix this thing up tho. its ugly. not much has been happening lately. me and nick went out 2 times and he broke up with me both times and its lookin kinda sketchy so we're done but thats kinda good cuz its a lotta shit off my back i decided i'm not gonna wait for him cuz i dont even kno if its worth it anyway. unfortunatley school starts the day after tomorrow. ahh i'm gonna die but thank god i'm not a freshman. tay and tom are both talkin to me and i dont kno what to tell them with their whole situation. when school starts i'm really gonna miss the summer. i'll hardly see christina and everyone else too. i died my hair last night a light blonde and it came out good i like it a lot i'm jsut kinda mad cuz you can still see my highlights. today i'm gonna do the underneath pink. i'm pretty excited. i'm waiting for someone to come home cuz i need a ride to amandas. i wanna go like right now. i gotta take a shower first anyway. i guess i'll do that now. later.
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| dont hold this against me i've already said i'm sorry |
[22 Aug 2004|02:59am] |
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its 2:44 a.m and i'm bored but i dont feel like going to sleep. i just talked to nick and the whole conversation really confused me but i'll just wait and see what happens tomorrow. i guess i'm going to the skate park. my dads prolly gonna come upstairs soon to go to bed and i'm gonna be on the computer and hes prolly gonna bitch but ohh well. i saw the excorcist tonight with amanda tay sarah christina pj freddie bev and derek. it wasnt that bad. before the movies daddy decided to by some vagisil lmao. and he gave us a nice speach on jock itch haha. it was pretty damn funny. i'm so worn down right now cuz i hardly slept last night at christinas...it was worth it tho cuz we had fun. i feel bad cuz i screamed at josh on the phone, sorry josh if you read this. my mom just pissed me off and i kinda took it out on him but idk if he was being serious or not when he kept saying of course you do when i said i had to go. i needa make a new fotki cuz i got some new pictures. i'm soooo upset/pissed that my old pictures got deleted cuz my computer crashed. raaa i'm mad. i had sooooo many and there was a LOT of good ones of me and i dont take good pictures at all! yea i really need to sleep now even tho i doubt i'm gonna end up going to bed even tho i'm saying i am. goodnight (morning) all.
things that just popped into my head:
look at that its a spittin image of abe lincoln!
grandma what are you doing? just smoking some marijuana
-lmao christina sarah amanda and tay
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| give me something worth living for * tell me a reason worth fighting for |
[21 Aug 2004|01:48pm] |
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 whatever that means? |
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the past 2 days really sucked. it seems like everyones mad at eachother. i'm not going back to the skate park anymore.
last night i slept at christinas and me and nick broke up. me christina amanda tay and sarah had soo much fun we stayed up till 6 in the morning and when we went to bed me and sarah kept laughing for no reason then she started talkin about date rape. me tay and sarah dressed up like prostitues and took pictures haha it was great. then we woke up at like 1030 and left by 11. amanda has to do a lot of packing today cuz of moving. i guess we're going to the movies tonight or somethin like that but idk whos going i only know freddie is and i think derek.. hes such a dumbass.
i dont kno whats going on with me and josh right now but i def dont think we'll go back out for a while. i need to be alone for a while until all my feelings disappear then i will start thinking about relationships. i'm so sick of them i'm never satisfied, and when i am i get hurt. theres no point nemore.
i finally got winmx to work on my computer, i guess since it crashed and i redownloaded it, it works again. this made me very happy today. i'm trying to upgrade aim to what christina has but for some reason it wont change so maybe i'll ask her to do it or something. my livejournal is really ugly i need someone who can make it pretty, i did find really good icons for it tho i lovers them. pj also made me happy today cuz he made me laugh when we were talking about taking a shit. lovely convo pj. i heart you. i guess i'm gonna finish screwing around with my computer then go to amandas and the movies. later kiddos.
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| havent written in a long time |
[19 Aug 2004|01:06pm] |
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wow its been a long time since i wrote. my computer crashed so its all faster and stuff now, sorta. i've been going to the skatepark/beach every day. me and josh dont go out nemore but i go out with nick. theres still a lot there with me and josh tho i'm real confused. i can't make this one long cuz i have to get ready and pick up tay cuz we're going to amandas new house soon. i think we're going to casey's today and pj wants us to stop by his house cuz casey lives real close to him. me and amanda tried to fidn a way for nick and freddie to sleep at her new hosue cuz her dad was leavign us alone for the night but it just never worked. yesterday i had to go with amanda to a funeral for this little girl lyndsey, she got hit by a car it was so sad. amanda knew her brother. i have to go get ready now so i can go pick up tay and go to amandas i think i'll do my hair at her house. i'll write again when i get the chance. by the way. derek REALLY needs to ask christina out. lol bye bye kiddos
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| It's Not A Side Effect Of The Cocaine. I Am Thinking It Must Be Love |
[03 Aug 2004|09:52am] |
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i really wanna throw my computer out the window right now. its so fucked up. on saturday i went to work with megan at the shelter and got to pick up dog shit all morning. i decided i'm gonna volunteer there as much as i can which is about once a week. its just so hard to get there cuz its all the way in bethal. saturday night i went to meg's graduation party. sunday i went to josh's house all day. last night me and cheryl went to reality and a shitload of people were there and the cops ended up comming. it sucked. and they took pj and joes names cuz the cop was an asshole. i'm pissed too cuz they took my hoodie and now i dont have any hoodies left. i'm still trying to figure out where my black one went to. i might have left it at cheryls. last night everyone left and went to pjs so me cheryl and laura were stuck there with all these people. it was fun tho. today me and cheryl are going over toms then back to reality tonight. i'm happy tom and tay worked things out! i found out a lot of shit last night. it amazes me how not hanging out with people for like 2 days so much shit can happen. i'm gonna take an early shower so i'm ready to go out early, even tho i doubt cheryl will be but its ok. later
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| its not about keeping your promises, its about following your heart |
[28 Jul 2004|11:27pm] |
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i was just looking at other peoples livejournals and i've come to the conclusion that mine is fuckin ugly and needs some serious work i just dont know how to do it. it was hard enough to make it like this. i just figured out how to make words bigger and bold and change the color and all that other stuff. yay i'm excited. i want to get a picture for the background and have a scrolly thingy like tays and mommas. with a lot better colors. oh well i'll figure it out one day. today i went over to joshs house with tay and tom. tay got her braces off today and she looks quite beautiful lol. i stayed at joshs till like 930 and he fell asleep watching super troopers but of course ended up waking up when i was gonna change...go figure. tomorrow i'm going to port jeff with tay and momma! i'm very excited. i'm supposed to go on friday too with the whole big family but idk if i wanna go 2 days in a row. i might just hang out with josh and then go to meg's that night and sleep there. i get to pick up dog shit from 8-2 on saturday cuz i'm going to work with meg. i have her grad. party on saturday also. i kind of have a busy next few days so i will try to write whenever i get the chance. i need sleep now i have to get up early tomorrow. good night children.
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| its not always rainbows and butterflys |
[25 Jul 2004|09:05pm] |
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wow i realized that it's been a long ass time since i updated this shit. i got back from atlantic/ocean city yesterday. me and cheryl had an amazing time on friday esspecially. we met 2 awesome guys justin and tory. we hung out with them the whole day till like 2 in the morning cuz my parents were at the casino. nothing happened with us and them cuz i kno whoevers reading this is like omg but they knew we had boyfriends. we're hoping we can see them again eventually.
i dont know whats going on with my life anymore. i am so confused on what i want. i love josh and he knows it i just dont feel like i love him enough. and what sucks is that i know hes perfect in every way, just somehow i'm not satisfied with myself. something made me realize that i think i might be wrong and i just feel so bad hurting josh. so i just dont know what to do cuz i wanna be with him, just something tells me i shouldn't. i'm so jumbled and confused i just hope i get things straight soon otherwise i think i'm gonna go crazy.
last night i went to cheryls at like 1115 when i got home from josh's cuz we were gonna talk to justin and tory and i ended up sleeping over. today i went to amandas. me amanda and robbie just couldnt figure out anything to do today. i left kinda early cuz i was soo tired. i still am i just cant sleep during the day but i kinda felt like being home. i've been thinking about this whole situation i have with josh and i'm still not finding a conclusion, i just really wanna be with him for some reason hes the only person i wanna see right now. i asked tay today to hang out with me josh and tom on tuesday and she said yes. i'm happy now.
i guess i spilled my heart out to the world enough for one day i'll update sooner or later.
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| I live for that single moment |
[18 Jul 2004|03:31pm] |
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the last few days i've been spending with amanda tay casey and sarah. i slept at tays on thursday night i think and we went to the law carnival after ambers party to go see ben. i chilled at amandas on friday night with amanda tay casey sarah brittany melanie bobby josh and robbie. that was a lotta fun esspecially when josh spun aroudn with me on his back and we went flying into the tv and it fell lmao. i think that was the greatest thing ever. yesterday i went over josh's and i guess you can say it wasnt the greatest day for us. we got into a little fight then we were talking and i finally told him what i've been feeling. i really love him tho and dont wanna loose him. i guess everythings ok now but it doesnt really seem like it is. we were supposed to hang out again today but for some reason he said he couldnt but oh well life goes on. i slept at cheryls last night along with gab so i spent the majority of my day at cheryls but her and gabby went to get their nails done so now i'm home kinda bored but ehh shit happens. tay said she needed to talk to me. i wonder what about? she said it wasnt bad tho thank god. me and cheryl are leaving for atlantic/ocean city on wednesday. i cant wait! i just realized cheryl was right and today is the 18th i thought we were leaving thursday...that kinda sucks. i'll have to start packing maybe tomorrow or at least gettin my clothes washed and shit together. need the hair products! i'm not gonna be wearing my hair straight there cuz i'm gonna be going to the beach and i WILL go in the water. i think i'll finish watching the rest of the 1st season of ER today. it seems like a good day to do it. later kiddies.
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| this is too easy...i need a challenge* |
[14 Jul 2004|10:02am] |
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mood |
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yesterday i saw the notebook and that is my new favorite movie i loved it sooo much. i cried throughout the whole movie! tay made me feel a little dumb cuz the whole time she was liek i'm not crying i'm not crying and i didnt hear melanie or amanda crying either so i tried to hold it in as best i can. didnt work very well. it felt good tho cuz i let all my emotions out. at amandas the other day i was playing with the baby and josh didnt want him to throw me the ball so i was laying on the floor and he picked up my legs and dragged me into amandas room and gave me rug burn on my stomache and it hurts a lot now. it better not scar i have too many scars on my body and one on my stomache would suck. oh well shit happens tho. i'm supposed to go over josh's today but i have to wait til around 2 or 3 now i have to find something to do for the morning. i'm prolly just gonna sit at the computer.
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| ¿confused? |
[13 Jul 2004|06:13pm] |
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mood |
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 giddy |
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a lotta shit has been goin on lately. i havent written in a long time. i went to cape cod for a week with meg. it was fun we went to p-town with all those lovely gay men and crossdressers haha it was funny. horseback riding was great my horse's name was otis. i came back and hung out with josh and cheryl then the last 2 days i've been at amandas with everyone. i missed everyone dearly. me amanda tay and sarah did a lot of catching up and in a little while i'm going to the movies with amanda tay robbie bobby and melanie to see the notebook. i'm most likly gonna cry the whole time but its all good i need a good cry i guess. a lotta shit has been running thru my mind i just dont really know whats wrong with me quite yet but when i figure it out i'll be sure to let you know. prolly not acctually but its ok. i'm about to go to the movies so i'll write when more interesting stuff happens.
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| i dont know |
[25 Jun 2004|11:31pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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this journal thing is gettin pretty boring and i havent written in a while. sorry. my computers so fucked up i hate dells. i hung out with josh today. no biggie but i love him more and more every day. yea well thats my entry cuz i dont feel like writtin. tay-hows ur lip? lmao austin and haley are such bad children. later.
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| underneath it all there is still life, despite it all there is still love* |
[19 Jun 2004|02:33pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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its been a while so i decided to write today. not too much goin on lately mainly just hanging out with josh. i cant wait till he gets his hot tub! hehe i slept at amandas last night and me amanda tay casey sarah josh joe mike paul and roscoe went to the carnival. danny and his friend met us there. i'm sad cuz last night someone broke into dannys car and stole roxy! i love that dog i hope shes okay :( we just hung out with a lotta people till like 1030, it was fun. tay made me a happy girl last night b/c she goes out with anthony now!! whooo hoo i love you tayyyy! i'm very happy for her. kyle and anthony were trying to rap but it wasnt working too well for them..altho everyone did like anthony's rap it was real funny. the rest of the night we stayed up late talkin to alicia about how she never wants to touch a purple dick again lmfao momma! at like 230 in the morning me sarah casey and big mike were up and daddy made us breakfast. it was quite yummy. tonight me amanda tay casey and sarah are going mini golfing hehe fun fun fun! i have finals mon tues and wed then i'm done with school. i doubt i'm going on thursday. i started painting my room, the color is nice i like it but i did a crappy job on the wall that i painted but andrea is gonna fix it for me, it needs 2 coats anyway. my rooms gonna look soo different once its done its gonna be so dark. oh well.
heres my plans for the summer: cape cod with meg 7/3-7/10, six flags at least 1 time and i'm making josh go, possibly canada with my mom andrea katie and kristen, misquamicut with tay amanda and w/e else comes, and i think thats it that i know of.
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toxicicex's journal
